I am trying my hardest not to consider this a diet. If I feel as if I am missing something, I will binge or go for it. Bad behaviors to change. The holidays are hard. Cookies, candy, cheese (omg where did all this cheese come from and how can I not say yes), drinks, snacks, parties - I cant handle the temptations. These last two weeks have been rough. I will do my best to recap and where I am at. I write this as a honest testament to how I am doing. I am holding myself accountable writing this each time. Someone has to shame me (even if it is myself) when I struggle and fail. I will look back on these in the future and remind myself to never do it again. I am hoping that day comes sooner rather than later. I have to get there first.
So after my last entry there were temptations. SO MANY TEMPTATIONS! My mom, sister and I spent the night of the 18th baking Christmas cookies. I fought temptation and only ate dinner with my family, not the cookies. Huge win here. If you would see how my mom bakes for the holidays you would know how hard it is to say no. I felt like this was a huge win. I kept up on my workouts, had a sugar free Jello (not bad if you need a sweet snack), and called it a win. The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful. Stayed on the path and got my workout in. This is the key when I have a fail. Walk it off!
The week of Christmas was a bit tougher. My girlfriends scheduled a Christmas dinner at an amazing restaurant and I knew it would break the diet. I worked out that morning, ate well the rest of the day and did my best to make good choices. A glass of wine, pickled veg and some cheese bites (this is a weakness) and a piece of meat off a meat and cheese board, salmon for dinner with veg and a few bites of risotto on a shared plate. Not my best meal, but enjoying the holiday was what I wanted. We ended up at a wine bar after with a glass of champagne and dessert (smores roasted table side) and a midnight return home was a girls night I needed. A few extra workouts are due for that, but I really did enjoy company of friends and other moms. Need to do this more.
Christmas eve and day were a bit tougher. Christmas eve I was due for a weigh in. Time was not on my side - literally. I was 5 minutes late and the office was closed. I was a little down over this. I like stepping on the scale and seeing progress. I would have felt much better getting on the scale. I got through dinner at my mother in laws, my parents dinner and a brunch with the husband and I am feeling just fine. Some mistakes (egg casserole for brunch wasn't on the good list but tasted amazing), but I managed. It wasn't until the next week I struggled.
Most of the weeks prior to Christmas I was getting workouts in. Week of Christmas workouts were fine. I was able to get 2-3 miles in a day outside, abs and some squats at home. The week between Christmas and New Year was much tougher. The temperature outside was frigid and wet. Rain almost every day and the days without rain were literally 40 degrees or lower. I lost my motivation. I didn't eat well for New Years Eve (didn't drink) but struggled. I went to the weigh in thinking I was going to gain weight. I lucked out and am down 2.4 more pounds over these two weeks but I am losing momentum.
Back at it again this week. Three days- three workouts and three good days of eating. Sometimes you have to fail to understand how you have to get to the goal. I will keep pushing. Just need it to go faster sometimes.
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