Month one down- a lifetime to go

Month one is over. I met with the nurse last week and reported 8.5lbs of weight loss and a little over 2 inches from the waist. I was a bit disappointed in the weight but knowing the waist measurement was moving rapidly it proved to be a bit of a lift. This appointment was a review of the numbers. I didn't want to see them but I knew I had to figure out a plan of attack. 

Cholesterol- just fine. Borderline high but fine. Small changes will keep me in range. 

Hormones- could be better. Ruled out PCOS which was great but the numbers confirmed that a lot of my issues were as a result of internal issues. Progesterone once a day should help manage this. 

Insulin- holy bad numbers Batman. My insulin resistance is 2x what a normal high level is. Since we are treating with Metformin I moved doses to manage my levels. Still working on getting back to the correct does but working on it. 

Thyroid- kinda low. Small dose of thyroid meds should help me feel like a human again. 

If anyone knows me you will know that I don't really like taking meds. How does one who can barely take a vitamin remember all of this. After a few days of reminders I am finally getting the hang of it. It's a game of putting pills everywhere I need them but a simple slap in the face does help. 

Month two will get better. Addition of veggies will make things easier. Having options to add to soups will make them more appealing. Keep your fingers crossed the weight still comes down. Aiming for 10% weight loss at 6 mos. the sooner the better in my mind. 

It's all about the stats... well at least to the doctor it is.

I have been lax at posting and I realize that I need to do it more to keep my sanity. Seriously, who does this stuff. I know there are a million people out there doing the same thing as I am but its hard to focus on the support until I get my crap together. Hopefully I will be looking back on this and seeing the struggle and making myself stop before I get back into these situations.

Weight loss is all about the numbers. I am still not at a point where I feel like I can share numbers. Putting that out there is very personal, and I am not there yet. The numbers when I stepped on the scale made me cry. I put on a tough face and tried to act like it wasn't a shock but I am shocked. I have never  been one to find myself unhealthy, but hell- I am not in a good place.  I knew when I went in I would be signing up to see these numbers often, but seeing them weekly is a blow I have to continue to take each week.

Week one- wow. Understanding how my body works and what my composition currently is a great start. These amazing scales tell me a lot about my insides. My weight, my body mass, body fat percentage, muscle percentage and it tells me what I would weigh with no body fat. This is a number I will share. It was an eye opener to me. 132lbs. That is the number that I would weigh with 0% body fat. Seriously, I know people who consider that a happy place with body fat. I am not going to be a skinny girl. I like my muscles and my curves, but need to find that happy medium. The prescription is 1000 calories a day for 2-3lbs of weight loss per week. Slow and steady wins the race.  Some follow up blood work to understand what else is going on in my body and I am on my way.

This first week sucked. I mean going from eating pretty much anything you want to not only limiting calories but also only using shakes, puddings and soups. First few days of motivation were easy. I didnt have to think about what I was going to eat. You open a drink for breakfast, you have a soup for lunch, a pudding or a drink for snack, pudding or soup for dinner, and another shake prior to bed. 200 calories split over each meal and balanced to keep my blood sugar in check, protein in checks, maintain body mass while burning fat. First few days are great, that is when the first challenges presented itself.

The first time out to eat with my family was sucky. I didn't want to be rude to the restaurant so I order an iced tea and some green beans. I dodged my first bullet and didn't feel like I was ruining the time of my families dinner. All I wanted was some great homemade Asian noodles and some great steamed veg. The second time out was a lot more difficult. I left the house without a game plan. I drank my drink in the morning and left for errands. 6 hours later we were faced with lunch and I had nothing with me. I picked a salad out with the family but was behind on calories all day. I grabbed a snack and tried to keep up but I could tell I didnt have enough calories for the day. It was fingers crossed I didnt botch the diet.

Week one was finally over. I survived the mixes and found I liked a lot of them at that point, however, I was still nervous about the scale.  After a quick trip in to get more product and step on the scale I was down 4.6lbs. Happy with the movement but now understood that it was a very slow process. I have a lot of weight to lose. I will keep pushing myself to write more about this journey. Hopefully I will see this as part of the direction.

Day 4 down- this is for the birds.

This weekend sucked. I will fully admit it. I spent a lot of time prepping myself for this change. Between the time I met with the doctor the first time and the time that I said yes to this life change I didn't know how much it would actually suck. I will recap it as best as I can however, I can tell you I miss real chewing food.'

Friday was day two. The second full day that I decided to keep this change going. 1000 calories of prescribed food per day. Five meals of 200 calorie packets of food. Chocolate drinks, pudding, soups, even some fruit drinks but that is it. I am a picky person when it comes to smoothies and drinks so this is a challenge. Four weeks is going to be a hell of a time since four days has been so long. Here is a break down of my first weekend. The full suckage as I will call it.

Friday at work is easy. No temptations, no one to please but myself. I had my protein drink in the morning, a cup of soup in the lunch time and then pudding in the afternoon. Easy right? Not so much. When I went home the challenges started. Mark met me and the girls at the Christmas Holiday Market downtown which is where the challenges started. Everyone was hungry so we ventured to Shanghai Mamas for dinner. I knew I needed something to keep me going. I started panicking on our walk there. I knew I was active and had plenty of active time in the day but I had to go against my prescribed diet. I was lucky that I had some options for veggies (green beans and a little bit of pork). While it wasnt the best choice I made it work.

Saturday was much harder. I had my meals for breakfast and lunch and I made a big mistake in the afternoon. I was working outside and hungry and totally forgot about my diet. I ran in and grabbed a snack (not the one I should have had). I owe myself some workout time to make up for that. Dinner was easy with the soup but again I am getting tired of only a couple of choices.

Sunday was also rough. Girls had a pizza party at Chuck E Cheese and I hadnt eaten. I grabbed a small piece of Georgia's left over pizza and regretted my decision. I was able to pick it back up and finish my meals for the day without any issues.

These next few weeks are going to be tough. Bear with me as I am sure I am a pain in the butt and not friendly as I get used to these changes. I feel like I need to wear a badge that says " Forgive what I say, I am on a diet"

Wish me luck!

New Me - day one

You have to start somewhere. This is what I will say is day one. This is the first day that I will make a change for myself. I have been a mom of two and a wife of one and not really found myself in the last few years. No one tells you that you will have to give up part of yourself in order to be a wife, then again when you become a mother. No one tells you that you will need to work harder than ever to keep the little shred that is yourself. By the time I realized I needed to, the relationships were gone and the path is much harder to find myself again.

Most people start a New Years Resolution in January, but I realize if I don't start something now, I wont make it there. Today is day one. I participated in a group discussion about managing my personal dreams. This was an exercise that I wasn't comfortable with. I actually had to think about what my dreams were and what I wanted to accomplish and think about how I was going to manage it. My first "dreams" were all kid related. As I sat there writing them down I had to realize that this exercise wasn't about my kids. This exercise wasn't about my husband. It was about me. For once I needed to actually think about myself. Not an easy task for me.

So this dream manager proved to be more of an exercise than I planned. I literally sat at my computer thinking about what I would want to tell people for way longer than I should have. Should I actually pick goals for myself? Should I pick dreams that are more helpful for my family? I mean seriously Kelly, why cant you just pick things that you want to do for yourself? why is it so hard for one to plan things for yourself when you become a mom or a wife. A wife is easy, you make plans, your husband makes plans, you come home and all is well. A mom is a bit harder. You have to plan on who is responsible for the kid/s. Making plans as a mom is a lot of work. Sometimes more work than I am willing to give. Making my dreams come true is a balance of whether I want to deal with the plans or whether I want to actually give myself some time.

This year is about some me time. My dreams might be vague, but I think they will evolve over the year.
Dream #1 - Financial Freedom- pay off student loans, remove balance from credit cards.
Dream #2 - Lose weight, become more healthy.
Dream #3 - Work on relationships with Friends and Family
Dream #4 - find time to sew
Dream #5 - Keep house in manageable order.
Dream #6 - remodel bathrooms -fresh coat of paint and accessories.

So they are still a little vague. Dream #2 is the first on my list. Today starts my journey to a better me. I met a doctor a few weeks ago that runs a wellness center here in Cincy. My initial meeting was positive and it seemed as if it was a place fore me. I had my first appointment yesterday and set my goals. Hardest part is going to be not eating real food for 28 days. 4 weeks of prescribed meals (soups, drinks and puddings) which consist of 1000 calories a day. Lots of water and that will be the helpers to get me through but I am looking forward to seeing a change. Its going to be a long hard effort but we will get there.