I have been lax at posting and I realize that I need to do it more to keep my sanity. Seriously, who does this stuff. I know there are a million people out there doing the same thing as I am but its hard to focus on the support until I get my crap together. Hopefully I will be looking back on this and seeing the struggle and making myself stop before I get back into these situations.
Weight loss is all about the numbers. I am still not at a point where I feel like I can share numbers. Putting that out there is very personal, and I am not there yet. The numbers when I stepped on the scale made me cry. I put on a tough face and tried to act like it wasn't a shock but I am shocked. I have never been one to find myself unhealthy, but hell- I am not in a good place. I knew when I went in I would be signing up to see these numbers often, but seeing them weekly is a blow I have to continue to take each week.
Week one- wow. Understanding how my body works and what my composition currently is a great start. These amazing scales tell me a lot about my insides. My weight, my body mass, body fat percentage, muscle percentage and it tells me what I would weigh with no body fat. This is a number I will share. It was an eye opener to me. 132lbs. That is the number that I would weigh with 0% body fat. Seriously, I know people who consider that a happy place with body fat. I am not going to be a skinny girl. I like my muscles and my curves, but need to find that happy medium. The prescription is 1000 calories a day for 2-3lbs of weight loss per week. Slow and steady wins the race. Some follow up blood work to understand what else is going on in my body and I am on my way.
This first week sucked. I mean going from eating pretty much anything you want to not only limiting calories but also only using shakes, puddings and soups. First few days of motivation were easy. I didnt have to think about what I was going to eat. You open a drink for breakfast, you have a soup for lunch, a pudding or a drink for snack, pudding or soup for dinner, and another shake prior to bed. 200 calories split over each meal and balanced to keep my blood sugar in check, protein in checks, maintain body mass while burning fat. First few days are great, that is when the first challenges presented itself.
The first time out to eat with my family was sucky. I didn't want to be rude to the restaurant so I order an iced tea and some green beans. I dodged my first bullet and didn't feel like I was ruining the time of my families dinner. All I wanted was some great homemade Asian noodles and some great steamed veg. The second time out was a lot more difficult. I left the house without a game plan. I drank my drink in the morning and left for errands. 6 hours later we were faced with lunch and I had nothing with me. I picked a salad out with the family but was behind on calories all day. I grabbed a snack and tried to keep up but I could tell I didnt have enough calories for the day. It was fingers crossed I didnt botch the diet.
Week one was finally over. I survived the mixes and found I liked a lot of them at that point, however, I was still nervous about the scale. After a quick trip in to get more product and step on the scale I was down 4.6lbs. Happy with the movement but now understood that it was a very slow process. I have a lot of weight to lose. I will keep pushing myself to write more about this journey. Hopefully I will see this as part of the direction.
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